On The Other Side Of Fear : Nina – A Story Of Transformation

How I Turned My Life Around In Just One Year 

written by Nina H. and posted with her kind permission to share

At the moment I am looking at myself and my life with deep gratitude. I am at a place where I feel empowered to do what ever I desire in life, and see new opportunities and possibilities in the horizon. I am now aligned with my highest truth and my soul’s purpose. This makes me feel joyful and abundant, even if by some standards I have not yet met my goals. I am, however, confident that I will continue to conquer every obstacle on my path and ultimately live fulfilling my true potential, enjoying a new kind of emotional and financial freedom.

This was not the case before. Just a year ago I was really stressed out with my day job and felt stuck in my life. The physical symptoms included arythmia, insomnia, indigestion and panic attacks. My entire nervous system was on fire, and I could not relax no matter what. I was diagnosed with a severe burnout in October 2018. Even after the diagnose I was still trying to keep it all together, trying to continue as before. I was still very much ego driven and resisted letting go of control. The first two months I was still in the ”fight or flight” mode, trying to convince myself and my doctor that I could go back to work and continue like I just had a bad case of flu or something. She then decided to continue my sick leave, at which point I collapsed completely and had a total mental breakdown. My recovery begun only after when I finally let go of control, stopped resisting and surrendered to the fact that I was in fact totally burnt out. 

Those weeks were full of shame and self loath. I could not believe what had happened, but at the same time deep inside I felt a huge relief. I allowed myself finally to just let go completely.

There was a lot of fear, and a feeling of being totally lost with myself… I wanted to be somebody else, somewhere else.

I did not know who I was, if I wasn’t doing the things I was supposed to do. I did not know what I wanted to feel either.

In my mind, burnout is the inevitable result of living a life that is not aligned with your deepest desires and your soul’s purpose. The society, however, is designed to manipulate people to serve other purposes, and not find your own. No wonder more and more people burn out in this system.

It was during Christmas time last year, that I discovered Dagmar’s facebook group and her SPARK YOUR LIFE online yoga retreat. I decided to join the 5 week online mentorship with her. Dagmar’s warmth and presence helped me to get centered again. Her meditations and yoga practices gave me the routine and structure, that I so much needed in my life.  Even being an energy healer and a yoga teacher myself, in my darkest moments I had totally lost all my interest in practicing yoga. Her support along with the other women in the group was so heart warming and genuine.

As the weeks passed I felt I had found something valuable – a way back to being my authentic self, a way to connect again with my body and soul.

I was able to finally feel the stress starting to melt away from my system. For the first time, I took full responsibility for my own healing and my entire life.

I made plans to leave my job in early education, and started studying integrative health coaching. The future looked bright and I was ready to discover my purpose in life.

Unfortunately the trials in my life were not completely over yet. In late January my partner was diagnosed with cancer. This was again something big I had to deal with. Dagmar and the group supported me and held the space for me to feel the feelings and stay centered. Soon after the cancer diagnose, my partner got caught up in a brutal car accident. He survived but was severely injured. After many difficult operations and several months in the hospital, he slowly returned back home and is learning now to walk again. The cancer still remains.

During these trials I also discovered I was not able to support myself financially anymore, as I was not yet able to work fulltime.  I needed to let my apartment go and find another home for me and my children. The tools that I had received from Dagmar helped me to stay calm and composed during that stressful time. At this point I knew that resisting the situation only make it worse. Instead I surrendered again, and allowed myself to feel all the feelings and emotions, again letting go of all control. From that energetic place, I effortlessly manifested a new home in just 48 hours. It felt like a miracle at that point.

So within 3 months time I had given up my health, my job, my relationship and finally my home. All the things that gave me security and comfort. All the things I had taken for granted in my life. I was faced with a situation that I had no regular income, my body was slowly recovering from burnout, I was not able to lean on my partner for anything, and I had to pack up my home and move to a new home. This was a lot to deal with. By the beginning of this summer, I had only myself to trust and turn to, as everything else was stripped away from me. 

Today I am a new version of myself. I can honestly say, that the breakdown was my breakthrough.

It was because of the breakdown, that I had to let go of my ego and start living a life that was more authentic, more aligned with my highest purpose.

I don’t know if I had been able to bounce back and find my strength again, if it wasn’t for the support I received from Dagmar and some other coaches and mentors along the way. It is necessary to do the deep inner work alone, but you must allow other people to support you in the process. 

There are always the people who are ahead of you, guiding you and holding space for you to heal. This is one of the lessons that I learned. We are all in this together. When you show up for yourself, the universe provides for you. The answers are already inside you, and you have the power within yourself to overcome anything. Healing begins when you stop resisting your situation and accept where you are. It is a long and bumpy road, but nothing feels as good as being in my own skin these days. 

Today I am so grateful for how everything turned out for me. I have left my dayjob, and started as a fulltime entrepreneur in the beginning of August 2019. I have graduated from the Health Coach Academy in December and have clients signed up for my 90 day transformational coaching program. I incorporate yoga and energy healing in my coaching programs for women, who wish to take full responsibility for their wellbeing and change their lives for a more authentic and fulfilling one. Nothing feels more rewarding to me than helping other women to rise, helping them shine instead of playing it small.

Please feel free to contact me, if you would like to talk about your current challenges. You can book a free 60 min online coaching session with me at [email protected] or contact me by direct message in Instagram or Facebook. 

Everything you desire is waiting for you on the other side of fear.

Nina