On The Other Side Of Fear : Nina – A Story Of Transformation

On The Other Side Of Fear : Nina - A Story Of Transformation

How I Turned My Life Around In Just One Year 

written by Nina H. and posted with her kind permission to share

At the moment I am looking at myself and my life with deep gratitude. I am at a place where I feel empowered to do what ever I desire in life, and see new opportunities and possibilities in the horizon. I am now aligned with my highest truth and my soul’s purpose. This makes me feel joyful and abundant, even if by some standards I have not yet met my goals. I am, however, confident that I will continue to conquer every obstacle on my path and ultimately live fulfilling my true potential, enjoying a new kind of emotional and financial freedom.

This was not the case before. Just a year ago I was really stressed out with my day job and felt stuck in my life. The physical symptoms included arythmia, insomnia, indigestion and panic attacks. My entire nervous system was on fire, and I could not relax no matter what. I was diagnosed with a severe burnout in October 2018. Even after the diagnose I was still trying to keep it all together, trying to continue as before. I was still very much ego driven and resisted letting go of control. The first two months I was still in the ”fight or flight” mode, trying to convince myself and my doctor that I could go back to work and continue like I just had a bad case of flu or something. She then decided to continue my sick leave, at which point I collapsed completely and had a total mental breakdown. My recovery begun only after when I finally let go of control, stopped resisting and surrendered to the fact that I was in fact totally burnt out. 

Those weeks were full of shame and self loath. I could not believe what had happened, but at the same time deep inside I felt a huge relief. I allowed myself finally to just let go completely.

There was a lot of fear, and a feeling of being totally lost with myself… I wanted to be somebody else, somewhere else.

I did not know who I was, if I wasn’t doing the things I was supposed to do. I did not know what I wanted to feel either.

In my mind, burnout is the inevitable result of living a life that is not aligned with your deepest desires and your soul’s purpose. The society, however, is designed to manipulate people to serve other purposes, and not find your own. No wonder more and more people burn out in this system.

It was during Christmas time last year, that I discovered Dagmar’s facebook group and her Cultivating Intuition online yoga retreat. I decided to join the 5 week online mentorship with her. Dagmar’s warmth and presence helped me to get centered again. Her meditations and yoga practices gave me the routine and structure, that I so much needed in my life.  Even being an energy healer and a yoga teacher myself, in my darkest moments I had totally lost all my interest in practicing yoga. Her support along with the other women in the group was so heart warming and genuine.

As the weeks passed I felt I had found something valuable – a way back to being my authentic self, a way to connect again with my body and soul.

I was able to finally feel the stress starting to melt away from my system. For the first time, I took full responsibility for my own healing and my entire life.

I made plans to leave my job in early education, and started studying integrative health coaching. The future looked bright and I was ready to discover my purpose in life.

Unfortunately the trials in my life were not completely over yet. In late January my partner was diagnosed with cancer. This was again something big I had to deal with. Dagmar and the group supported me and held the space for me to feel the feelings and stay centered. Soon after the cancer diagnose, my partner got caught up in a brutal car accident. He survived but was severely injured. After many difficult operations and several months in the hospital, he slowly returned back home and is learning now to walk again. The cancer still remains.

During these trials I also discovered I was not able to support myself financially anymore, as I was not yet able to work fulltime.  I needed to let my apartment go and find another home for me and my children. The tools that I had received from Dagmar helped me to stay calm and composed during that stressful time. At this point I knew that resisting the situation only make it worse. Instead I surrendered again, and allowed myself to feel all the feelings and emotions, again letting go of all control. From that energetic place, I effortlessly manifested a new home in just 48 hours. It felt like a miracle at that point.

So within 3 months time I had given up my health, my job, my relationship and finally my home. All the things that gave me security and comfort. All the things I had taken for granted in my life. I was faced with a situation that I had no regular income, my body was slowly recovering from burnout, I was not able to lean on my partner for anything, and I had to pack up my home and move to a new home. This was a lot to deal with. By the beginning of this summer, I had only myself to trust and turn to, as everything else was stripped away from me. 

Today I am a new version of myself. I can honestly say, that the breakdown was my breakthrough.

It was because of the breakdown, that I had to let go of my ego and start living a life that was more authentic, more aligned with my highest purpose.

I don’t know if I had been able to bounce back and find my strength again, if it wasn’t for the support I received from Dagmar and some other coaches and mentors along the way. It is necessary to do the deep inner work alone, but you must allow other people to support you in the process. 

There are always the people who are ahead of you, guiding you and holding space for you to heal. This is one of the lessons that I learned. We are all in this together. When you show up for yourself, the universe provides for you. The answers are already inside you, and you have the power within yourself to overcome anything. Healing begins when you stop resisting your situation and accept where you are. It is a long and bumpy road, but nothing feels as good as being in my own skin these days. 

Today I am so grateful for how everything turned out for me. I have left my dayjob, and started as a fulltime entrepreneur in the beginning of August 2019. I have graduated from the Health Coach Academy in December and have clients signed up for my 90 day transformational coaching program. I incorporate yoga and energy healing in my coaching programs for women, who wish to take full responsibility for their wellbeing and change their lives for a more authentic and fulfilling one. Nothing feels more rewarding to me than helping other women to rise, helping them shine instead of playing it small.

Please feel free to contact me, if you would like to talk about your current challenges. You can book a free 60 min online coaching session with me at nina.haddadin@gmail.com or contact me by direct message in Instagram or Facebook. 

Everything you desire is waiting for you on the other side of fear.

Nina

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Does Real Friendship exist today?

Does Real Friendship exist today?

I live in the small beach town of Montezuma in Costa Rica and real friendship is sacred to me. In the last 18 years of my life here I’ve seen many tourists and expats come and leave. It’s always been a very transient place, but what I’ve also noticed is a big change in the way friendships happen here.

When I arrived in 2001 from New York this was the place, where it felt like we all had plenty of time. Life was slow, which was such a welcomed change from my hectic life back in NYC. My boyfriend at the time ran a hotel, there was only dial up internet and a fax machine, no cellphones and few landlines in town. When I started Montezuma Yoga I would spend about an hour every day on the super slow, patience requiring internet, to deal with yoga inquiries and answer my emails. I would take time once in a while to have a good long phone call with my friends back home.

No worries, this is not turning into a “back-in-the-days-everything-was-better” post, but when I look back at the quality of life and how it has shifted in just 18 years, it feels crazy to me.

By midday my boyfriend and I would go home to his house up the hill, where we had no internet and no phone. We would spend hours listening to music, talking, watching the stars, making love and just BEING. Friends would come visit for dinner, we would throw great full moon parties, where we danced all night. Life felt very peaceful and rich.

Nowadays it takes a lot of effort to see my friends here. There’s very little room for spontaneous dinners or let’s go to the beach. How did we all become so damn busy? We all created our dream lives here, we started dream businesses, build dream houses and wanted to be in nature. If I want to see my friends now, we need to make a date at least one week ahead. Or I need to go eat at their restaurant to see them while they are working. 

With my friends overseas it’s not much different. With social media you somehow feel like you know what’s going on in their lives. You see posts with glamorous pictures and once in a while even a post where somebody is really sharing a bit more than superficial truth. But the real connection takes so much more effort, because we are all so lost in our busy lives. Do we work more hours than we used to do? Or do we just spend too much of our free time on the machine?

I am making a big effort these days to connect with my friends. Two of my closest girlfriends here moved away years ago, and we’ve been trying to set up weekly or bi-weekly zoom meetings to connect. We managed so far to do it once! Between work, taking care of kids, being in different time zones it seems really hard to make it happen. I know it’s not for lack of interest. We all long for connection.

With all the technology that makes it so much easier to connect worldwide than ever, how come we’ve lost the moment of real connection? 

Are you willing to make more effort to schedule time for your friends and real relationships? To be less online, scrolling through social media or watching netflix, and instead to really check in with your friends? 

The other day I talked to a friend in California, and while I wanted to make a video call, she said, please let’s have a good old fashion audio call. We ended up talking on the phone for 1.5 hours. It felt so good. We laughed, we inspired each other, we caught up on the last 2 years we didn’t see each other, drank tea as if we were sitting together…….There was something magical not to look at a screen and to just listen to her voice.

It’s my clear intention to spend more time with my friends. It has to become a non-negotiable, nothing that happens when all else is done and I have some space left. It has to be a priority like my yoga or meditation practice, like brushing my teeth, and I will schedule everything else around it. 

What do you think, does real friendship exist today? How do you care for your friendships near and far?

I truly would love to hear from you,

with love

Dagmar

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How to Step Into Your Confidence

How to Step Into Your Confidence

How to Step Into Your Confidence

Many of us, especially women, are afraid to be confident in ourselves. Maybe we’ve been taught that it’s not an attractive quality for a woman to have, or maybe someone made us feel badly last time we acted confidently. Whatever the reason, we’ve dulled or hidden away our confidence. Even when we receive compliments for our amazingness (a good yoga class, a thoughtful social media interaction, a new hair style), it’s seductive to lean back into the habit of shame and deflect the confidence boost instead of embracing it. 

When we stop being confident in ourselves, we can lose sight of what makes us each special. More than that, we become afraid of what others may think of us. And that is a good way to deprive the world of special, amazing people and talents.  Read More

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5 meditation myths – and the truth behind them

5 meditation myths - and the truth behind them

Did you ever try to meditate regularly and gave up again? When I started meditation I was rather confused, there are so many methods out there and it was hard to find one working for me. I even travelled to India and did a 10 day silent Vipassana meditation retreat, which was the most challenging yet also a really blissful experience. I would sit up to 9 hours per day with my fellow meditators in silence. But when I came home from India pretty soon the discipline faded and it’s been quite a journey for me to finally create my own practice. What I learned is that we have to let go of some myths and concepts first before giving it a go.

There are many myths about meditation which keep people from even trying it. Here are some of the common reasons I hear and the truth behind them:

1. I can’t stop thinking

This is often the biggest obstacle for people and the truth is: Meditation is not about stopping your thoughts! Trying to stop thinking is like trying not to see with your eyes open. 

Don’t beat yourself up for any emotion or thought. Instead, allow them to rise, say ‘thanks, mind,’ and then dissolve them. We are cultivating acceptance when we meditate.

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3 simple, very effective ways to deal with negative feelings

3 simple, very effective ways to deal with negative feelings

If you are like me, you love yoga because it has given you a precious set of tools to deal with negative feelings.

It’s totally normal if emotions get tricky for you. More than ever we are bombarded with images of people having it all together, living life happily, being in perfect relationships, having stunning bodies and traveling to the most gorgeous places in the world. No wonder we feel like crap watching it when we are not in such a happy place this very moment. 

It’s also our nature that we want to control and fix everything instead of really feeling vulnerable and feeling pain.

Read More

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Are you an advanced Yogi?

Are you an advanced Yogi?

Being an Advanced Yogi – What Does That Actually Mean?

People often come to my class announcing they are a beginner or that they are advanced. It always amuses me, because what does that really mean? They often refer to the physical asana practice, I get that, but to me, I have my very own ideas about being a beginner or advanced yogi ;).

To me, yoga is not about bringing your foot behind your head. While that may impress some other people in your life, I don’t really care – I have met enough people who were able to do the most advanced and tough yoga poses yet were completely unconscious in their relationships – and even mean to other people in their life.

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Stay Grounded During the Holiday Season

Stay Grounded During the Holiday Season

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

The holidays can be challenging.

How to Thrive – Not Just Survive – This Holiday Season

You name it, the holidays can create stress around it: Money, family, politics, food, alcohol, love. We can cultivate the best of intentions going into the holiday season, but, sometimes, things just fall apart: Fights about whose family to go to (or not!), gift exchanges, current events, why you’re not eating that third piece of pie or imbibing along with everyone else.
Stressful situations abound, and it’s easy to become overwhelmed. Read on for some helpful tips that can help you stay grounded and practice patience with the people and circumstances that are challenging.

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Connect to the light : The Gayatri Mantra

Connect to the light : The Gayatri Mantra

Connect To The Light : The Gayatri Mantra

I love when our yoga practice becomes practical, when we can take the tools we learn into our life off the mat and feel a shift in our usual behavior. 

One of the most transformative tools yogis have discovered are Mantras. And here is my story how I used one of the most powerful ones to connect to the light:  the GAYATRI.

 

But let’s first take a look at Mantras and what they are. It’s a very old practice to chant or recite mantras and in combination with the sound vibrations they have a very powerful effect on the mind and psyche of the individual. Mantras are written in Sanskrit, regarded as one of the oldest languages known to us, and also called the mother of all languages or the sacred language of the gods. 

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10 Yin Yoga Poses For Embracing Change

10 Yin Yoga Poses For Embracing Change

embracing change: cultivating the courage to make choices

a yin yoga sequence - images by Julie Ansiau

The practice of yin yoga is a wonderful tool to embrace our softer, intuitive side. It helps to strengthen our intuition, which leads to more courage to follow our heart and live our dreams. You can learn to make choices by observing more clearly, by accepting and embracing change.

Have you ever experienced the voice inside of you calling Now Or Never? We know when it’s time for a change, but we are at the same time horrified to make changes and to jump into the unknown. Yet whenever you look back on your own life, those moments that implied a scary change and jump into the unknown led you to the best experiences in your life, didn’t they?

I was very scared to leave my familiar world behind when I turned 30, i left my husband, my job, my country and moved to Los Angeles, where I didn’t know a single soul. Looking back it was very scary, but the best decision of my life. It lead me to yoga, it lead me to meeting many inspiring wonderful friends and teachers and eventually to live the life of my dreams. And guess what, it wasn’t at all about pushing hard and fighting my way, it was about embracing my vulnerability, my softness and learning to let go and surrender. Once I practiced this more often, things magically fell into place and I was faced with wonderful opportunities in front of me, where I just had to choose between yes and no.

The following sequence will include forward and back bends, as well as some hip openers and soft stretches. Focus on the language of your body, when does it say yes, when does it say no, where do you feel the yes/no, in your heart, in your belly? Practice becoming familiar and in tune with your body’s language is very powerful and healing. Letting be whatever is present, releasing emotions and stories is the goal of this practice. We store a lot of these emotions in the hips, so enjoy the deep stretching here. All poses are held for 5 min, if not indicated otherwise. Watch my instructional video for further tips and guidance.

Please allow in-between poses for neutralising stretches like table top, down dog, windshield wipers.

Favorite yoga pants by Onzie, shirt “Shine Your Light” by Spiritual Gangster. You can find my yin yoga music playlists for free on Spotify. Enjoy! All Images by Julie Ansiau.

 

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